While I’m working at home, I turn the TV to a channel that runs episodes of “Murder, She Wrote,” “Highway to Heaven” and “Little House on the Prairie.”

I’ve seen all the episodes, so I’m not really watching them. It’s the commercials that grab my attention.

Are you one of the millions of Americans living with bladder control problems?

I’m not, but I listen anyway to the woman with the understanding face as she explains that I could have incontinence products delivered discreetly to my home. No more embarrassing trips to the drug store. (Oh, man, it’s awkward enough buying Preparation H.)

If I don’t like the products I receive, I can send them back. Satisfaction guaranteed. (I would think some things weren’t returnable.)

Attention everyone on Medicare.

I’m not on Medicare, either, but if I was, there’s a hotline I could call to find out if I qualify for additional benefits. Free meal delivery. Free prescription delivery. Private health aides. Tele-medical appointments. (Apparently I’m not going to leave my house).

A 1-800 number flashes on the screen. I shouldn’t delay. (I have to, at least for a decade.)

Mom, we’re so glad you’re feeling better. You gave us such a scare.

Her mom assures her daughter, “I’m at peace with my homegoing when my time is up.” She got coverage for her funeral, so her children won’t be stuck with her final expenses.

An average funeral costs $8,000. (The party I’m planning will cost more than that.) I shouldn’t leave my loved ones with my debt. No medical exam needed. Rates can never increase. Coverage will never be cancelled.

Sure, it pays to plan ahead. I bought an organizer called “Sorry for Your Loss,” where I’ve left my will, insurance papers and other information.

But the future I imagine isn’t as bleak as these commercials make it sound.

I switch to Amazon Prime Video, where I could stream “Little House” without ads. Now I’m at peace.

Reach Karina Bland at [email protected]. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter @KarinaBland. Sign up for her newsletter at karina.azcentral.com.

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